Hope is dangerous

It's 2:15 am and I can't sleep and I have an appointment with the Great Doctor Wong tomorrow morning for my bladder inflammation that may or may not have been cured. I received a message from some unknown number while at work this morning, which turned out to be a 'friendly reminder' sent specifically to remind me that I have the said appointment the next day and I thought that it being a reminder must mean that someone had notified me about the appointment long ago, but the thing is I can't remember at all and God I don't remember half of the things that I need to remember.

I want to be together not keeping in touch, loved not tolerated, live not exist, satisfied not satisfice, think and feel and know at the right time, be alive and happy and content. It's too much to ask for, but not too much to hope for. Hope is a dangerous thing and I think I've stopped hoping some time ago.